Teching A Second Look: PCPrivacyCleaner
by Daniel Brottman
“It is highly recommended to get a full version of PCPrivacyCleaner protection software in order to remove all privacy violations. Please click here to start registration and eliminate security vulnerabilities to protect Your privacy!”
I have a virus. It’s not your run-of-the-mill virus, either, this one means business. It’s not my fault though. I like my computer a lot, and I take good care of it. I don’t go to iffy websites, I don’t download without thinking, I have my free antivirus software. Despite this, the computer gods have conspired against me, and decided to give me “PCPrivacyCleaner! Buy Now!”
Easy fix, right? Get the PCPrivacyCleaner software and boot out my virus? Not that simple. PCPrivacyCleaner is the virus. That’s right, the program flashing me with ads about how to get rid of viruses; the program telling my if I don’t act NOW I might lose all kinds of data; the program begging me to save my computer’s soul is lying to me.
Two days ago, both my computer and I were free of ills. I was surfing the web; videos on YouTube, web comics, email, that sort of thing. If I had known what I do now, I would have shut down Firefox, bought an expensive firewall and installed it just as fast as I could. Since I didn’t (and indeed still don’t) possess supernatural powers, I proceeded to funnel away time at the PC. I got a pop up ad. This was a small annoyance, as pop up ads are rare when you’re the proud owner of the Google toolbar - it usually blocks them for you. OK, so this one got through the net. Hit “X”.
“Scanning… PCPrivacyCleaner has found 432 Spyware agents and dangerous files on your computer! Buy the full PCPrivacyCleaner to get rid of them!” What? Hitting “X” does not open new pop ups, it closes old ones! What gives! I read what the new pop up said again. Giving it a thought, I realized no program could scan my entire computer in half a second, and no respectable antivirus software would advertise in pop ups.
I turned to the internet, despite the wrongs it had done me. More specifically I Googled “PCPrivacyCleaner“ to see what would come up. The first site gave me this definition, and I now quote: “PCPrivacyCleaner is a rogue registry cleaner, AKA fake privacy protection, that promises to clean your computer of naughty files.”
Alright, I couldn’t have cared less about what the virus was; I just wanted to get rid of it. I ran the antivirus program I had on my computer, “AVG free.” It scanned my computer and said that it had found 3 infected files. So I hit “heal.” Do I get: “Virus healed?” No, I get: “Error: AVG unable to successfully remove files.”
OK, so the stupid PCPrivacyCleaner was smarter than my program. I Googled how to get rid of the virus, and found out the first thing I needed to do was something called “ending the process” of the virus, which I could start by hitting ctrl+alt+del. So I hit ctrl+alt+del. My computer told me: “The Task Manager has been disabled by your administrator.” Well that was bogus, I am my administrator, and I didn’t disable the function.
I felt violated; I felt infected even as my computer was infected. It was as if I had tried to blink my eyes, and instead heard in my head: “The Blinking Eye function has been disabled by your administrator.” I’ll blink if I want to, I’ll hit ctrl+alt+del if I want to, and I’ll blink while hitting ctrl+alt+del if I want to!
I tried to tell myself that I was getting upset over nothing; that I just needed to be smarter than this virus and move on.
But I knew what was really bothering me. I was upset that someone had tried to take advantage of my trust. It wasn’t just that they were trying to take my money and my files, it was that they tried to do it by undermining the faith I had in - corny as this sounds - my faith in the antivirus software industry.
I think about the situation now and wonder: isn’t that a bit grandiose for this situation? Are these files and programs really a microcosm of good and evil?
True or not, I thought so at the time, and became determined to beat this virus. Now my computer’s immortal soul was at risk. I thought about bringing out the big guns; I thought about emailing Microsoft.
Halfway through typing my message I paused. I felt a sort of growing paranoia with every word I wrote. Could Microsoft help me? Could I trust a behemoth quasi-monopoly company to take interest in my special need? With a mental shudder, I finished the note and hit “send.”
Someone from customer service promptly responded with some directions (basically - run Microsoft’s antivirus software), and it actually worked quite well. As I sit at my desk, this instant, I type on a virus free system.
My computer was in good health, but I was not. Before Microsoft zapped it, the virus seeped through the keyboard, mouse, and monitor, through hands, eyes, and mind. The virus had another victim. PCPrivacyCleaner’s programmers just wanted easy money, but instead they taught me a lesson.
They taught me not to trust.
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March 18 2009 03:04 pm | Uncategorized
