Humor: Patriot Act v2.0–In Facebook We Trust
by Maysen Yen
Facebook: a good way to keep in touch with old friends, or a government attempt to keep tabs on all of us? Well, if the government wanted to keep track of what we’re doing, I would assume they’d have the CIA watching us, so let’s not be overly paranoid. Facebook is just a good way to connect with old friends.
Moreover, it’s not like the government could really use Facebook to spy on us. Sure, there are those who comment five seconds after you put a picture up, but they don’t know any compromising information about me. I untagged those pictures!
All in all, we’re all friends on Facebook. So unless friends are secretly governmental spies as well, we have nothing to worry about. Although, I guess it’s true that we don’t really know our “Facebook friends” very well so if they are leading a double life, we wouldn’t really know.
But let’s not get overly paranoid. The Bible says “Love thy neighbor,” not ” Thou shalt sell thy neighbor out to the government for flag burning”.
Anyway, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends. A few weeks ago, a couple of childhood pals that use to live next door “friended” me. Now, I can connect with them even though I lost contact with them years ago. Our shared past of lemonade stands and cooties is long gone, but at least we can still talk, right? I can find out all I need to know about them: whether or not they grew up to share my favorite movies, music, or if they’re in a “complicated relationship.” Before Facebook, I never even knew what a complicated relationship was. I personally think that it’s just when two people really fear commitment to each other, but still want to get it on.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that Facebook is a great way to reconnect with old friends that you never would otherwise bother to stay in touch with. Because those friends are definitely the keepers.
Plus, why would the government care about what’s on our Facebook page anyways? They’d probably just laugh at my weird faces that I make and think I’m drunk half the time. As for the other people that really do put up pictures of themselves completely smashed, I’m quite sure the government will disapprove. But in all seriousness, what are they going to do with the pictures and information about your hobbies? Try to sell you a copy of a bass fishing magazine or send you alcohol addiction awareness pamphlets?
Unless we created a Facebook group called “Die America. Plans to create internal Terrorism” or a Facebook event called “Blow up the Sears Tower .RSVP Immediately. Bring Bombs… and booze……”, it’s highly doubtful that the government would care at all about our little “social utility” addictions. Let’s just hope that the creators of those events are probably smart enough to set it as a “secret”. Then again, they are posting it on Facebook….
So let’s dispel these notions of paranoia and just enjoy our Facebook. Put up your pictures from your Scrabble party last night or update your favorite movies to include “Slumdog Millionaire.” Enjoy it like the girl next to me right now who is checking her Facebook in school while I type this. I find this hilariously ironic.
Them Scrabble parties are where it’s AT. Holla.
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March 18 2009 02:07 pm | Uncategorized
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