Poetry: “30 Seconds”
by Shiraz Noor
(Ontario, Canada)
Exhausted from another day of
Of questioning, of being questioned, of
Of wondering whether I really am living a mess of inconsistent intervals as
As I have refused and subsequently led myself to believe, of
Of wondering whether I am finally losing it
I came home, unpacked my bag, and went to wash my face.
Looking in the mirror suddenly
Suddenly swept with the realization that
That I was looking at my own weathered face, I
I saw me like never before, this
This skin I forgot I am in
This face I suddenly had to face
And I know myself inside
How would I not after all the times my thought pattern was questioned and ridiculed?
But all this time I’ve
I’ve only really known myself inside
Today, I’ve been introduced to me
The body I now can clearly see
The one everyone else knows, or
Or thinks they know, or
Or maybe they do know better than the soul inhabiting this skin
My eyes, always for seeing everything around me, suddenly
Suddenly see my own withered eyes, surrounded
Surrounded by frames and a scraggly black mop of dead cells
Why do I feel like such a stranger to myself?
As I look closer, I start to wonder
Is this person really me?
Is this really what I’ve become?
I suddenly relive my life in 30 seconds, including
Including all of the mistakes I’ve made, all of
All of the opportunities I’ve thrown away, all of
All of the times I’ve felt like I was falling down a bottomless pit, all of
All of the times I’ve realized my life was a wreck, all of
All of the times I decided I was going to make something of it
I’m making something of it
Whatever I am, this is what I’ve become, this
This is who I decided to be.
This is who I am.
I don’t regret a thing.Don’t ever regret anything.
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