Hobbies For The Bored Soul
by Jim Steinberg
(Illinois, USA)
Have you ever seen a clown and thought to yourself, “I want to do that?”
Me neither. Nevertheless, I have always been intrigued when I see someone juggling, three objects mysteriously moving in what appears to be a giant circle. Being a full-blown clown would actually be a pretty challenging task, and an even harder hobby. I decided I didn’t like wearing make-up and just worked on the juggling part.
You have to realize how few people actually juggle.
Now, I’ve never been coordinated. When every kid was out in their little league or soccer team, I was home. I can’t really remember my childhood memories except in episodes of Rocko’s Modern Life. I can only assume I just watched television all day. Now despite this lack of basic motor skills, I went on with my challenge for a whole month. I should really get a medal for this. So if you’re one of those kids adopted by television like me, then you’ll have no problem either.
I don’t need to show how to juggle with all the crazy diagrams as well as tutorial videos on youtube. However, I should mention exactly how much effort this takes. I’m sure a coordinated person could learn it in one day easy. But to really get it down perfectly, and I mean just go on juggling for hours took me two weeks or more. But the payoff is worth it all.
I juggled anything I wanted, though nothing fragile, including objects of different sizes and weights. I tried paper balls, baskets, Nerf balls, Lego balls, Lego blocks, Duplos, giant soft Legos bricks, Lego wheels, and various fruits. It’s probably best you don’t ask about the variety of Legos I come into contact with. Whenever I get I bored I simply look around for three different objects and juggle them. It’s quite a mind game.
Of course you can juggle all day for your own amusement I suppose, but what do other people think? Well I had the opportunity to juggle for tons of people all month. To little kids, you are some kind of explorer who has discovered an ancient secret. They could sit and watch you juggle for hours.
Ah, but you don’t want to impress little kids now do you? I know, you’ve got your mind on the ladies again. Well, don’t worry they are quite astounded if you pull it off out of nowhere. For instance, say you are in a grocery store with your lady “friend” because…I don’t know…because it’s your second date. Which, by the way, is not only cheaper than a fancy restaurant, but has a much larger menu. You’re walking along in the fresh fruit section and point toward the apples. You start to say, “Does this apple look ripe?” or something romantic like that and proceed to pick up three of them and go into a juggling frenzy. If you happen to drop the apples, simply put them back and walk away quickly. Don’t worry if employees happen to see you, they can’t chase you outside the store doors. (Note: Watch out! The cart boy stays in the parking lot!) But if all goes as planned you will woo you’re female friend. This stems from a girl’s innate belief that your accomplishment proves you can juggle having a girlfriend and other things at the same time. It’s biology, people!
I urge you to take this hobby up. You can practice anytime, anywhere, and as common as this hobby may seem, very few can do it successfully. Just don’t get carried away; there are thousands of different juggling styles. Once you get the hang of it, try spicing up your juggling with the element of danger. I don’t mean you should run off and toss steak knives into the air; that would be stupid. Instead, try throwing flaming objects. If you set yourself on fire, simply juggle some water balloons.
[Editor's note: Some of our more dedicated readers may be chagrined at Jim for not keeping to his promise of investigating squirrel tagging as his next hobby. I felt similarly disappointed, but had to accept his explanation: that rabies is fun for no one and that the squirrels rarely tag back]
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October 19 2008 11:36 am | Uncategorized
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