For the Oscar in All of Us…
by Shiraz Noor
(Ontario, Canada)
This Wednesday, October 15 is National Grouch Day. That got me wondering: what exactly compels me to refrain from ever showing the slightest bit of excitement about, well, anything? It hasn’t really helped me much. I mean, who likes having the guy around who’s impossible to please?
People often tell me to “get off your high horse” or to “get over yourself”. I find these demands ridiculous, as any idiot could point out that had the horse not been so high I would probably have gotten off it already, or that the act of going overtop of oneself is physically impossible….unless of course I made a clone of myself and was playing leapfrog with him. Until then, I will continue to ride on my loyal but sometimes inconveniently tall odd-toed ungulate mammal, and will abstain from haplessly trying to perform 360 degree flips or making my feet stand on the top of my head or whatever in the hopes of finally getting over myself, thank you very much.
What people don’t realize, however, is that we grouches are probably a lot nicer than ordinary people. You see, we don’t pretend to be caring because we really are. We don’t talk much, because we’re always listening—and don’t let our aloofness suggest to you otherwise! Our narrow emotional ranges are due to our big hearts, giving us a large capacity for information without discomfort. It’s basic chemistry, really.
So the next time you see your neighborhood grouch, give him/her a big hug. Well no, don’t. That would probably come across as an insult. Actually, the best thing to do is to keep it simple: a friendly punch on the shoulder, followed by the magical words “Happy Grouch Day, you big old jerk!” will do the trick nicely.
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October 19 2008 05:44 am | Uncategorized
October 21st, 2008 at 12:21 pm
first off. word! kind of kicks serious ass. can anyone write for it?
second,shiraz, this article is hilarious. nice job, dude.
-fellow grouch.
October 21st, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Hello Sean!
Its great to hear such enthusiasm and appreciation to our webzine. And to answer your question, yes anyone can write for Word!
Any article, any photograph, artwork, poem. Anything really that can be uploadable can be sent to our email:
word.webzine@gmail.com
Maybe we might see something in our inbox from you soon?
October 26th, 2008 at 8:18 am
XD Shiraz. Sorry I didn’t punch you on the arm for National Grouch Day. Possibly just cause I was too grouchy myself
btw, does it still count if I’m only part-grouch?