What Comes Next
by Alana Rigby
Staff writer (Ontario, Canada)
Let me tell you a story.
One sunny, summer day, my father and I were sitting outside, enjoying whatever it is you enjoy when you’re out in the wild.
“So,” he said, after a prolonged swig from his can of cheap Lakeport Gold. “This time next year we’re going to be out here, and in two months you’ll be off to university. You have any idea what you want to do?”
I sure as hell didn’t. But I answered anyway.
“Well, I was considering Carleton’s journalism program.” I don’t want to be a journalist. That was a lie, it was my ready-made answer, ladled out whenever I was impaled with the dreaded ‘what do you want to do when you grow up’ question. My dad didn’t say anything, so I kept talking. “I’m actually not too sure, I haven’t even decided if I want to major in English or History.”
He snorted. “Don’t do either. You’ll just end up like your pathetic parents: teachers. You’re smarter than that kid, you could be a doctor.”
It’s hard to be a doctor when you’re not taking any grade twelve sciences. And since when does intelligence automatically imply medicine is the way to go? I was disappointed with what he said. But if that wasn’t enough, he continued.
“At that rate, you’ll just end up with a useless BA and you’ll marry some rich guy and live off his fortune.”
Coming from my dad, that’s pretty harsh. But he was drinking at the time, so I forgave him.
What I was more concerned with was this: why is it so hard to be happy doing what you like? My dad went to the University of Toronto, he did a double major in history and English, and got a Masters degree in British history. He loves the social sciences; economics is his favourite subject to teach, even if he isn’t really qualified for it.
I thought that he’d be happy to hear I shared the same interests as he did. But apparently no matter what you like, money is everyone’s true calling. Half the kids I know what to be doctors, and the other half’s tied between engineers and accountants. I know some people honestly have a lifelong love of Biology, but I’m willing to bet the impressive salary is what motivates most people towards those careers.
My father loved the things he studied, so how is it that he ended up cynically cautioning others against pursuing their interests? Do our ambitions in life have to be tempered by the constant questions of ‘where will this take me in the future?’ and ‘how much money am I going to make?’
In a perfect world, the answer to that questions would be no. But in our society, the North American utopia of ownership equating to quality of character, the never ending need to be the best will always prevail. Everything is a competition, for the highest grades, the most extracurricular activities, the best scholarship. And us twelfth graders, we prescribe to this standard of life willingly and all too easily, because we know that we’ve got to get into the best university, to get the best education, to get the best job, to make the most money, to buy the nicest house and oh my God, it never ends. There is so much pressure on kids, whether from their parents, their teachers, even in the media, to know where they’re going and what they’re becoming.
Thankfully, there are those that break the mould, providing a much-needed freshness in the larger scheme of things. My older brother had a ninety-four percent average from his top six courses, he got into UofT lifesci with a giant scholarship, he could’ve gone anywhere and been just about anything he wanted. He decided to go to Western and major in music. He’s in fourth year now, and he hasn’t stopped loving it. It gets annoying sometimes, whenever we go places he compulsively air-conducts elevator music. Even so, he’s stuck by what he’s decided, with no apparent show of regret over what could have been. It makes me wonder if, in twenty years when he’s a music teacher, making, at most, eighty grand a year, if he’ll still be as happy. I know nobody is perfectly contrite all the time, no matter what profession they choose. I’m just beginning to doubt if humans can even be moderately content, pursuing their dreams, or if we’re all destined to perpetual unhappiness and cynicism, like my father.
My grade twelve year has been a little lacklustre thus far, because I’ve been spending so much time worrying about my future. I’ve been wondering if I’ll even get in to university, I’ve been panicking because I don’t know what the Hell I want to do, I’ve been moping and whining to anyone who will listen because, well, there isn’t really a good reason for it. To be honest, I don’t have a lot of ambition. I don’t know what kind of job I want in life; I don’t know which university I want to go to. I’ve even considered what my father said, marrying rich and living empty. But then, I came to a conclusion I’m sure many have reached before. I said screw it.
What I do know is what I told my father, back at the beginning of the summer holidays. I like English, I like history. I’m going to study one or both of them, and I’m going to stop asking myself so many questions. We’re only seventeen, who can blame us for not knowing exactly who, where, what, we’re expecting from the future. We’ve still got at least another four years in university to decide. And until that time, what can we do? Pursue our interests, write for the ‘zine, practise piano, finish the equation. There are no guarantees for what’s coming, but I know I’m going to be happier if I don’t force myself into something I hate, only to satisfy some material concern. I’m going to do what I want, and take whatever comes in stride. And really, that’s just about all anyone can do.
Next>>
September 14 2008 03:44 am | Uncategorized
March 6th, 2010 at 6:31 am
Hello! adckfgb interesting adckfgb site!
March 6th, 2010 at 6:31 am
Very nice site! cheap viagra
March 6th, 2010 at 6:32 am
Very nice site! [url=http://apxoiey.com/aoxvsx/2.html]cheap cialis[/url]
March 6th, 2010 at 6:32 am
Very nice site!
March 10th, 2010 at 2:06 am
Hello!
buy cialis soft tabst tabs ,
March 10th, 2010 at 2:06 am
Hello!
cialis ,
March 10th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
Hello!
xanax ,
March 10th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
Hello!
viagra ,
March 10th, 2010 at 2:47 pm
Hello!
cialis ,
March 11th, 2010 at 5:37 am
Hello!
viagra pill ,